I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
