so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
