Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
