if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
