fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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