Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
