It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
