Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
