from now on my penis is your penis
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
