Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
