Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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