I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
