I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
