My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
