it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
