doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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