do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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