I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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