you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Randomize
