He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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