What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
