Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize