how can u be prego again
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
