Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
