I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
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i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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