Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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