Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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