but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
