Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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