Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
