I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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