I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
