I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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