Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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