just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
