I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
