I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
