We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
