we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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