if i can run in heels then i can drive
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
