I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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