Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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