Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
