i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
this just has baby written all over it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
