I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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