This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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