dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
