Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
