Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it was like eating out sand paper
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
