tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
