We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
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My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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