Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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