Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he shaved USA in his pubs
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize