the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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