Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
