this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
