remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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