I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
