Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
