Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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