things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Green mimosas i think yes
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
