$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
