We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
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I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
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You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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