You work out of a Hotel?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
