Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
