I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
