Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
