I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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