end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
