Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
