Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize