Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
